are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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