So gin and wine won't be happening again
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
