not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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