A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Is it because I queefed?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
