She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
