Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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