I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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