i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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