Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my phone needs a breathalizer
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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