I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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