He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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