She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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