a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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