The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
