i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
