Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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