My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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