jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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