Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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