Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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