No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
