What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
