She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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