I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
