He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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