Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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