peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
