Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
