Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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