we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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