My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I will pee on everything he values.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
