We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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