I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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