Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
