Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
