Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My breasts were aching with rage.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
