But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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