Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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