I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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