Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
