He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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