just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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