If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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