you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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