I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
