i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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