dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
whose parrot is this?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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