You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
