seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
