Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
